Dalvin & the Chipmunks (2-3) – 173.00
Just Doulis. (2-3) – 144.72
Why Eric won: MT13 (35.70), Sony (19.80), Tyler Boyd (23.30), Philly D (35.00)
Why George lost: Rodgers (9.42), Bad Luck
Well then! Everyone decided to show up at the same time. Alrighty. Mike Thomas finally blew up for 11/182/2 making me happy with my first-rounder for the first time this year. Sony averaged more than 1 YPC (amazing) this week so that helped as well. Even about halfway through the 4th-quarter, it looked like Boyd was going to put up about 5 but somehow ended up with 23. But Philly D is what really won me the week. I sort of felt like a schmuck bidding $4 on a defense for a 1-week rental but if that $4 buys you a win I would say it’s worth it. What can you say about George? Losing while putting up 145 sucks. There is a good chance that will be the league-high losing score of the year. George’s team is hot and will look to stay that way against Tim next week.
Da Bad News Bears (3-2) – 131.20
Illegal use of hands (3-2) – 74.84
Why Tim won: ARob (25.20), Matty Ice (32.90), Kittle (17.80)
Why Brian lost: Lamar Jax (14.44), Gallman (1.40, concussion), Ebron (1.30)
Tim won by 55 even with getting goose egged by Evans. He needed it too after taunting (no one?) about the Bears and then proceeding to immediately lose the game. ARob is looking like the best player on the Bears offense and it’s not close. Matty Ice’s team sucks but that necessitates him constantly throwing from behind which is great news for Tim. Trade window is now presumably closed for Kittle as well, looking like the 2018 Kittle for the first-time this year. Brian’s team put up half the points that it put up last week. Where the fuck was that last week Brian? Ebron had 1 catch again, but this time it wasn’t a 50-yd touchdown. Gallman made an early exit leaving (?) at RB. Lamar Jackson has been a huge component of Brian’s success and it showed this week. Brian will look to bounce back against 2nd place Skahan.
HotChubbTimeMachine (4-1) – 129.42
Football Sage! (3-2) – 111.16
Why Dave won: Brady (24.92), Ridley (17.30), Devonta Freeman (15.50)
Why Dad lost: Wentz (12.06), Corey Davis (3.80), Diggs (5.90)
Dave had the epitome of a solid week all around. He didn’t have any of the 50 hammers on his roster this week but every single person in the lineup did their job or slightly exceeded it. Dad had some duds: Philly D stole all of Wentz’ points, Corey Davis came back to earth, and Diggs continues to struggle. Luckily for Dad, Tyreek comes back soon and his absence has been apparent. Also, he has Chris Godwin who may be the #1 fantasy WR in the league right now (projected to finish with a ridiculous 105/1635/19 line). That helps too.
noWWwinthisweek (3-2) – 111.26
The Winless Champ (0-5) – 71.44
Why Jim won: D.J. Chark (32.40), Fournette (21.70), Ertz (14.20)
Why Dags lost: Whole Team Stinks Minus Josh Jacobs (43.64)
The much-anticipated(?) 2018 finals rematch ended up being the lowest-scoring matchup of the week by about 20 points. Jim got his revenge by kicking Dags’ weeks-cold corpse a couple of times. Does it even feel good beating this team? Jim’s Jags are looking good though which has to be exciting. Minshew-mania has made a significant impact on Jim’s 2019 chances. As for Dags, it’s just sad. Thanks for continuing to do your lineup, buddy. I’ve been playing the Witcher 3, I think you would like it. Sweet game.
I Hardly Hit Her (4-1) – 153.74
CBDGaveMeMagicPowers (1-4) – 74.44
Why Rambo won: FULLER (46.70), McCaffrey (44.70), Edelman (21.00)
Why Ryan lost: Chiefs underwhelmed (18.54/4.60/5.30)
Rambo’s team is hilarious. His team outside of these guys fucking SUCKED. These 3 guys accounted for 73% of his team’s points. Some more interesting numbers: Fuller scored 65% of his season’s points in yesterday’s game. He very nearly doubled his entire season output to this point. Ryan could be mad about this but he also would’ve lost by 40 if Fuller scored zero points. Ryan’s team is all in on the Chiefs and the Steelers. The Chiefs offense has stalled a bit lately (Mahomes ankle? no Tyreek?) and Mason Rudolph, already a backup, got a 1-way ticket to Mars punched by Earl Thomas yesterday. Not looking good.
Fart Huffing M.D.s (3-2) – 175.04
40%ChanceToWin – (2-3) – 97.62
Why Justin won: AARON JONES (45.70), Coop (34.10), Russ (29.92)
Why Jeff lost: Hammy Watkins (0.00), 0-BJ(4.00), Waller (5.90)
Man I would’ve killed myself if I played Justin this week and lost. Justin’s team erupted. Aaron Jones had the game of his life racking up 4 TDs and nearly 200 yards. Coop also put up a personal best in yardage for his young career with 226 yards. Russ looked masterful on Thursday – just perfect ball placement on every throw and knows exactly when to run with it. Jeff didn’t have a chance even if his team played well. It did not. Sammy Watkins is back to his old breathe-on-me-and-I-get-hurt self. OBJ is on the Browns who, as it turns out, are not a super bowl contender. Who knew! Pretty amazing that OBJ was 10x better with Eli Manning than with the Browns. Don’t give me the O-Line excuse either because the Giants O-Line was fucking putrid for years and OBJ was still the man. Not blaming the pick (I have him in another league), just super disappointing. Jeff has the highest points against in the league and still has a very strong team that I would consider a favorite to make the playoffs.
That’s it, good luck in week 6!
MAKE IT RAIN 