Dalvin & the Chipmunks (5-3) – 152.88
Fart Huffing M.D.s (4-4) – 135.18
Why Eric won: Tevin (36.80), Dalvin (25.60), Can’t-Guard-Mike (21.80)
Why Justin lost: Russ (15.68), Jimmy Graham (3.50)
Remember when people thought Matt Breida was the pick over Tevin? Good times. My team is firing on all cylinders right now, rattling off my 4th win in a row. It feels great when your top 2 picks actually deliver, something I haven’t had in this league for a very long time. Justin’s team was essentially blameless in this loss, putting up a monster 135 points in the loss. I’ll take any opportunity to take a dump all over Jimmy Graham at any point I can though: still sucks, still a pussy that refuses to throw a block. Saints are on bye this week but the fact that Justin’s team is capable of putting up this many points without his first round pick is scary.
Da Bad News Bears (4-4) – 110.06
I Hardly Hit Her (6-2) – 130.32
Why Rambo won: Julio (20.20), CMC (25.50), Edelman (23.50)
Why Tim lost: Fitz (1.80), Dede (0.00, hurt)
Rambo stakes his claim as the sole 6-2, positioning himself to claim one of the 2 coveted bye spots. CMC returned from bye delivering a pedestrian 25 points against a top-3 defense. He is matchup-proof. Edelman and Julio dropped 20-apiece only Julio did it with zero TDs (Edelman had 2). Even Mike Evans’ monster game (37.30) couldn’t save Tim in this one. Larry Fitz seems to finally be succumbing to father time. If you graphed his points…it’s pretty much this clip art:
Dede got hurt early and zeroes usually don’t help much, just ask Ryan. Tim gets Justin in Week 9.
HotChubbTimeMachine (5-3) – 102.36
BabyCharknDaHomeless (5-3) – 106.00
Why Jim won: D.J. Chark (16.90), Fournette (17.10), Nick Bosa (17.00)
Why Dave lost: MJJ (4.20), Hock (2.60), Derrick Henry (6.80)
No rain dance needed this week. Just Jim’s Jags doing just barely enough with a little help from DROY candidate Nick Bosa. Surprisingly this was only the 3rd lowest winning score of the week, though 3 losers this week would have easily beat Jim. Dave stumbled a bit this week. Marvin had a TD hangover, Derrick Henry didn’t find the end zone, and Hock is just not an exciting starter, even in a world where every TE sucks. Jim has his Godwin voodoo doll at the ready for Football Sage’s squad in Week 9.
Football Sage! (4-4) – 122.88
Just Doulis. (4-4) – 166.90
Why George won: Cooper Kupp (31.50), Latavius (32.20), RAJAHS (27.10)
Why Dad lost: Kyle Rudolph (3.20), Godwin (8.30), Wentz (14.38)
Cooper Kupp cracks me up. How does he get as open as he does with little to no athletic ability? Every time I see him catch a ball he’s wide open but runs like he has a load of poop in his pants. Mysterious. George’s ride on the Latavius train has (presumably) come to an end but the ride came with a few free Ws so I’m sure George isn’t too upset. For Dad, Monty finally showed up but it didn’t matter because he ran into a monster this week. You can blame the loss on the guys mentioned above but reality is that Dad was up against a borderline unbeatable score this week.
Illegal use of hands (4-4) – 82.20
50% Chance to Win (4-4) – 99.16
Why Jeff won: Nuk (16.40), Lockett (13.00), Not falling on his face
Why Brian lost: Leveon (5.00), Bob Woods (5.20), Crowder (3.90)
Jeff just needed his guys to show up and come somewhere near whatever Yahoo projections they were given and that’s exactly what he did. Not gonna give Jeff too hard a time for that though with the league’s Top Points Against total (opponents have averaged 126.5 against him). Brian’s needed more from his big guys. Leveon and Bobby Dubs need to put up more than 5 points if Brian is going to come anywhere close to winning. He will look to bounce back against Georgie this week.
CBDGaveMeMagicPowers (1-7) – 84.58
The Champ (2-6) – 96.04
Why Dags won: Saquon (24.30), Christian Kirk (13.80), Didn’t take much
Why Ryan lost: THREE Goose Eggs
Ugly one. Dags won, I guess. It took 3 Ryan goose eggs to do it, and even then it was fairly close but a win’s a win. Dags is 2-6 and still technically not eliminated from playoff contention. Saquon is good. Dags, you probably don’t read this but the Witcher 3! Dude, it’s good. Ryan, who DEFINITELY doesn’t read this only played one guy that didn’t play this week. He still did his lineup on Sunday unprompted though so that was nice. Injuries to Cooks and Conner on top of the rest is just brutal. Fantasy can be cruel.
Good luck next week!
MAKE IT RAIN 