Alvin & the Chipmunks (2-0) – 142.74
Flappin in the Brees (0-2) – 133.78
Why Eric Won: Kamara (33.90), Kyler (33.14)
Why Dave Lost: Brees (15.48), CEH (10.00)
Going into Monday night down a point with Kamara vs Brees + Jared Cook I thought I had maybe a 10% chance to win. I didn’t even turn on the game until half. That was a wild ride. Kyler put up 33.14 (which was interestingly only the FIFTH best QB score in the NFL this week: Dak, Cam, Josh Allen, Russ had higher). Tough loss for Dave here. He made the right call on running out the Bills receiver duo to the tune of 41.50 points, it just wasn’t enough. Dave gets Tim, also 0-2, in Week 3.
Da Bad News Bears (0-2) – 111.40
If he dies he dies (2-0) – 146.72
Why Jeff Won: Ridley (26.40), Mike Evans (19.90), Conner (19.10)
Why Tim Lost: Will Fuller (0.00), Anthony Miller (0.00)
Jeff’s team is looking as solid as ever with another easy win this week. The Matty Ice and Ridley stack is paying major dividends. Seeing Mike Evans come back to a huge day was probably a major relief for Jeff as well. Tim summed up why he lost in Slack pretty perfectly. What the hell happened with the 2 goose eggs? The rumor is that Fuller was seen stretching it out on the sideline but he had no injury designation all week. I knew Fuller had trouble staying healthy but ONE WEEK?! I literally pulled a glute getting out of my chair this week but I also sit on my ass for 8 hours a day for my job. Miller was at least targeted 3 times I guess? Brutal.
Football Sage! (1-1) – 109.40
Go Wilfork Yourself (2-0) – 176.98
Why Dags Won: Cam (35.58), Terry (22.00), Chubb (25.80)
Why Dad Lost: Saquon (R.I.P.), The Bucs (1.60 / 2.20)
As much as it pains me to say it….Dags’ team is really good. It is hard to find a weakness. He is strong at virtually every position and that was on display Sunday. This was a crushing week for Dad. Losing your 1st round pick in Week 2 sucks. It is effectively a fantasy season-ender, not to mention he already had Kittle (his 2nd pick) on the bench due to injury. Dad’s insane luck streak with fantasy injuries has finally come to an end. It was a good run.
Illegal use of hands (0-2) – 85.96
The Philly Special (1-1) – 100.70
Why Matt Won: Miles Sanders (18.60), ODB (15.40)
Why Brian Lost: Gronk (0.00), Sammy Watkins (1.60), Derrick Henry (8.40)
Things are looking up for Matt I guess? He stole a win here with another poop score (though clearly much better than last week). The return of Miles Sanders has to feel good here along with seeing Odell catch a sweet touchdown. It hasn’t been pretty but Matt is 1-1 and things seem to be slowly coming together. This was just an awful week for Brian. Gronk and Sammy goose eggs, Henry and Lamar performing way below their standard, Mostert hurt early, etc. At least you have to be happy about CeeDee Lamb. He is making an impact earlier than expected. Brian will look to climb out of the 0-2 hole against the white-hot Dags squad next week.
Just Doulis. (0-2) – 97.78
FantasyFootballTeam (2-0) – 179.22
Why Justin Won: Russ (34.42), Aaron Jones (43.60), Edelman (21.90)
Why George Lost: T.Y. (4.30), DJ (6.00), Zack Moss (3.70)
Some of my google searches for gifs before I settled on the above:
savage beatings
stop, he’s already dead
grimace
disgust
pummeling
Justin won by a million and George’s team is just really really bad. George too has a hurt 1st rder (MT), but literally everyone on his team is under-performing with respect to where they were drafted. George is a magician and has found his way out of sticky situations like this in the past but it looks like he has his work cut out for him. Justin’s team is stone cold dominant. Justin and Dags seem to be the early front-runners for byes.
WashingtonCovidSkins (0-2) – 108.88
Lord of the Wins (2-0) – 113.46
Why Patrick Won: The Titans obviously (26.76, 22.40)
Why Jim Lost: $32 Hines (0.90), Mark Andrews (3.40), ARob (4.80)
So Rambo won and Davante Adams and Julio combined for 8.50 points? What the hell is happening? Rambo’s Titans kicked ass as did a bunch of his random scrubs: Antonio Gibson got a late TD, Jerick McKinnon is the last remaning healthy player on the entire 49ers roster, Brandin Cooks even woke up a little bit. It was a completely mediocre score but hey, 2-0, am I right? Did anyone have a more depressing week than Jim? Lost. Check. To Rambo. Check. CMC out for 4-6 weeks. Check. Guy he spent a million dollars on put up less than one point? Check. If he played literally anyone else on his bench he would have won. Check. At least he has 2 top 5 QBs…
MAKE IT RAIN 