Part 2 here we go…

Least Likely to Read This: Dags

I’m pretty sure Dags has been mad at me since 2018 and patently refuses to humor me in any way, shape or form since then. Dags also happens to be my favorite punching bag which may not help.

Team: Suck My Ditka

Strengths: RB, TE – Dags annually employs the ‘draft every RB possible’ strategy which I will admit is a good one. He has no shortage of strong RBs. He also has one of the few lock and load TEs in Waller.

Weaknesses: WR – A couple of shaky vets and a couple of unproven young guys. I actually think Pittman and Callaway are good picks but not super excited about this WR room. I feel like Dags’ strengths and weaknesses are the exact same every year.

Values: Jalen Hurts (7.07), Michael Pittman (9.07) – I like the Hurts/Lance combo at QB. Hurts has sky high fantasy potential but also may legitimately get benched after 6-8 games because he sucks at real football and his coach seems to hate him. But pairing him with a young exciting guy like Lance is smart. Pittman would seem to be the WR1 on the team and in the ninth that is nice value.

Reaches: Waller (2.06), Trey Sermon (6.06) – Waller is undoubtedly good but I think his 2nd pick could’ve been put to better use. Sermon is too sketchy. He seems like a guy that will own 30-40% of the backfield which just isn’t enough for a 6th rounder.

Most Likely to Kill His Children During the Draft: Justin

Runner Up: Me
Justin’s kids destroyed his router I think? This draft….did not go well. I would have to imagine most of these weird picks are due to autodraft.

Team: FantasyFootballTeam

Strengths: WR, QB – I see a lot of my team in Justin’s team which does not bode well for either of us. But ya, strong WR Room alongside an elite QB. That is the good.

Weaknesses: RB, TE – The bad? This RB room is yikes. I love Gibson actually but hate Mostert and Justin’s only remaining RB is James White. Not great. Justin has 2 tight ends which is good when you don’t have a good one I guess.

Values: Antonio Gibson (2.05), Tyler Boyd (7.08) – Gibson is I think set up for a real workhorse role this year. Tyler Boyd…love this dude. Perpetually disrespected – I think he outscores Chase handily.

Reaches: Multiple defenses (one in rd 10), kicker in round 13? Let’s just skip this section.

Most Likely to Be Busy on 95% of Proposed Draft Dates: Dave

Runner-Up: George.

Everyone else: All those dates work for me!

Team: CeeDee’s TDs (noice)

Strengths/Weaknesses: This is team is very balanced. Dave always seems to just go with it without forcing any particular strategy and it has worked in his favor here.

Values: Josh Jacobs (4.04), Fant (9.09), Chark (10.04) – JJ was a RB1 last year. The only thing that has changed was signing poop Drake? Who cares. I love Dave just waiting and taking Fant. Chark too was a patience pick. He wasn’t great last year but I like having a piece of Lawrence when that team is going to be behind every game.

Reaches: Russ (5.09), Gerald Everett (11.09) – Russ in the 5th seems unnecessary. Fab hair though. I like grabbing another tight end but probably could’ve got Everett a round or 2 later even.

Most Likely to Sour on Fantasy After Week 1: Jeff

Ah, a tradition as old as the cold, indifferent universe itself. Usually I would put runner up: me, but I have been sour since the draft. I’m sorry, I’m soured.

Team: THE ELITE

Strengths: TE, RB – Kelce is the perpetual #1 TE, no surprise here. Jeff went RB in rounds 2-4 so he has a strong RB core as well.

Weaknesses: WR – Jeff knew what he was getting into when he took is first WR in round 6 and took 6 receivers in a row.

Values: Kenny Golladay (7.10), Michael Thomas (9.10) – These guys are both guys who were drafted in rounds 1/2/3 last year so if they can get back to form it is a high value maneuver.

Reaches: Laviska Shenault (8.03) – He may very well have a strong year but still feels a little too early for him.

Most Likely to Baffle and Amaze: Jim

I almost love watching Jim’s drafts more than I enjoy participating in them myself. At first, it was Diggs and I was like, alright sure, that’s a fine pick. Then Josh Allen 2 picks later and my jaw hit the floor. He’s a madman and every league needs one.

Team: Make America Gronk Again

Strengths: QB, WR – Love me Josh Allen. I don’t love picking him in the 2nd for literally zero reason but I do love him. Oh and Jim has Matt Stafford too for some reason. That’s cool. Diggs, Woods, and Aiyuk are a really solid WR crew. WR is definitely this team’s strength.

Weaknesses: RB – Yikes. Jim always seems to scrape by at RB I guess but these guys really stink.

Values: Cole Sleazley (13.11), Terrace Marshall (14.02) – As long as Cole Beasley doesn’t die from Covid or from being the most insufferable human being on the planet he could return some good value in the 13th. He was pretty good last year. Terrace Marshall has the alpha build and could be first year relevant. You never know who Darnold will like (or if he will even be better than he was on the Jets in which case all the Panthers WRs will suck).

Reaches: Josh Allen, Bob Woods, RoJo, Stafford, Defense, Kicker – Yeah.

Most Likely to Bitch about Picking Last and Then Realizing that Picking Last Isn’t Really That Bad Actually: Tim

Had to pick a non-Bears award for Tim this year. As much as I have a Fields day with Bears jokes, with overuse, they Ur-Laching. Going with a different one for Tim isn’t my Forte, but sometimes you gotta shoot for the Mooney. And thanks for finally paying me, I don’t mean to be Nagy but I like having the full a-Monty (lollll) before the start of the season. Alright I’m done.

Team: Da Bad News Bears

Strengths: TE, QB – Tim has TE locked up with Kittle, who is dominant and has Rambo-favorite Bobby Tonyan waiting in the wings. As of writing this, Dak tea-bagged me and probably dealt me my first loss of the season. Dak looks to be a top-tier QB again this year.

Weaknesses:  RB – Saquon could be fine but he is shaky with injury and one of the league’s worst O-lines. I like JT but the rest of the RBs stink.

Values: Landry (11.12), Sterling Shep (13.12) – Two guys that I think are perpetually underrated. Both really solid flex-fillers in the double digit rounds.

Reaches: Melvin (7.12), Tonyan (8.01) – Clearly Melvin is going to be a bum and cede 100% of his carries to Javonte (please). I don’t get the Tonyan pick in the 8th when you have Kittle. Build on depth there (not of the TE variety).

This was fun. Good luck everyone, have a good season. If you have any interest in doing a recap here or there let me know since I won’t want to do these every week. Help a brotha out!

-Eric

Welcome to the 2021 Make It Rain Draft Awards! I have 2 young children and my team stinks so we will see how much effort I put into this recap. I have a couple of good jokes/insults though so that is always some decent motivation. Let’s go.

QBs Drafted: 21 (2020: 20)

RBs Drafted: 58 (2020: 61)

WRs Drafted: 69 (2020: 65)

TEs Drafted: 20 (2020: 24)

First to Draft a QB: Jim (Josh Allen – 2.02)

Last to Draft a QB: Matt (Joe Burrow – 9.06)

First to Draft a TE: Jeff (Travis Kelce – 1.10)

Last to Draft a TE: Dave (Noah Fant – 9.09)

Last to Draft a RB: Jim (Myles Gaskin – 5.11)

Last to Draft a WR: Jeff (Jerry Jeudy – 6.03)

Nothing really interesting about the stats. Jim didn’t draft 5 tight ends this year.

Most Likely to Cheer for Human Beings to Get Hurt: George

Tony Pollard, Alexander Mattison, Rhamondre Stevenson, Darrynton Evans, and Tony Jones who I guess is a real person. George’s success is contingent on actual good players getting hurt. It would be super funny if CMC got hurt as his is the only handcuff he didn’t grab.

Team: Just Doulis.

Strengths: Getting the #1 Pick, TE, Handcuffs – CMC is good. Must be nice. I really like Hock this year, he will be good. George has a lot of handcuffs.

Weaknesses: WR – Don’t really like this group much. JJ is undoubtedly good. The rest I don’t really like. Lockett will have two 60 point games and fourteen 5 point games. The rookies could be good but Chase has had about as bad a camp as a rookie could have and I wouldn’t like having to rely on them producing in year one.

Values: CMC (1.01), Tannehill (8.12) – Tannehill is nice value on the border of the 9th and will probably be better than he was last year since he essentially replaces Corey Davis with Julio. I also like the Fields pairing with the late QB strat. George always does well at the QB position.

Reaches: Chris Carson (2.12), Ja’Marr Chase (6.12) – Carson was maybe the main reason I didn’t make the playoffs last year. Wouldn’t want a guy who plays 6 games a year as my 2nd pick (also humorously not handcuffed). Chase probably stinks this year and will struggle to return 6th round value. Give me anyone around him instead.

Most Likely to Move to Florida: Dad

Is this a joke about Dad being an old man? Or is it more of a ‘he’s obsessed with Tampa Bay’ joke? I’ll let you decide.

Team: Football Sage!

Strengths: Buccaneers, Balanced – His only regret was that he could not amass more Bucs. Dad’s team is very balanced and not particularly weak anywhere.

Weaknesses: Not Enough Bucs

Values: Dionate Johnson (5.02) – Diontae is pure volume and is a good pick in the 5th. I’d be happy really happy with him as my WR2 nevermind WR3.

Reaches: Logan Thomas (6.11) – I think he is similar enough to guys like Goedert and Fant who went in the 9th.

Most Likely to Love Big Beefy Dudes: Dags Brian

Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

Team: Illegal use of hands

Strengths: WR, TE – Solid WR crew and tight end is more than locked up with both Andrews and Jonnu.

Weaknesses: RB – Brian has a pretty well rounded team but RB is a little questionable with unknown volume for Harris and Henderson.

Values: Keenan (3.03), Corey Davis (8.10) – I foolishly hoped Keenan would fall to me. He is extremely safe. Corey Davis has been pretty hyped up and as the almost certain WR1 (even if it is the Jets) round 8 is a good value.

Reaches: Mark Andrews (5.03), Drake (9.03), Kicker (13.03) – Andrews is in no man’s land. I don’t think he is good enough to be taken in the 5th. I would have rather waited 4 rounds later for a similar if not slightly worse guy. I just don’t see Drake being worth almost any pick. He stunk last year in a featured role, can’t see him being playable in a 1B role. You took a kicker before round 16.

Most Likely to Hop Aboard the Hype Train: Rambo

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty disappointed this award has nothing to do with the Titans.

Team: Lord of the Wins

Strengths: WR – Just an extremely strong group of WRs here. It helps when you draft 8 receivers as well.

Weaknesses: RB – Besides Kamara, these guys stink. I’ll eat a shoe if Tevin is fantasy relevant. Or as Rambo’s favorite team’s coach Mike Vrabel would say: I’ll cut my dick off if Tevin is fantasy relevant this year. He stunk on the SF offense which can make any JAG fantasy relevant.

Values: AJB (3.04), DJ Moore (5.04) – Both feel like they could have easily gone a round before.

Reaches: Pitts (4.09) – Sure, maybe he really is generational but this is drafting him at his ceiling at a position that is notoriously unproductive in their rookie year. Not worth the risk here for me. I feel like I am the only human on Earth who doesn’t think Pitts will be godly though so maybe I’m the dope.

Most Likely to Stop Doing Recaps Early Because His Team Stinks: Me

Not sure what happened. Rounds 1, 3, 4, 5 I missed out on the guy I wanted by one pick, facing a steep drop-off in talent after that. That forced me to make some awkward picks I didn’t want to make and my draft just kind of derailed from there. I wouldn’t say it’s hopeless but a lot needs to go right. Yahoo gave me a D+. Normally I wouldn’t give a shit what Yahoo’s worthless auto-grader says (I mean, Tim got a B, come on!) but getting a worse draft grade than Jim, even from the Yahoo bot….it just stings.

Team: Goe Dert

Strengths: QB, WR – not really where I want to be strong but Kyler is a cheat code and I do like my WR room. I think Ridley is a strong WR1 overall candidate.

Weaknesses: RB – Woof. Hate em all. Had to take Michael Carter, a guy I think is straight poop purely because I needed to roll the dice and try and hit on a RB. Hope Javonte is good 😦

Values: Goedert (9.05), Fuller (11.05) – I like where I got Goedert. I think he has a chance to be better than a lot of the TEs drafted before him. Fuller was a WR1 for a good portion of last year. Yes, he has injury issues, is off the roids, doesnt have Watson throwing to him anymore, etc. but round 11? Guys being picked around him are Tevin Coleman and Tyrell Williams? I’m ok with getting him there.

Reaches: Kyler Murray (4.08), A.J. Dillon (8.08) – Don’t love taking a QB in the 4th round. I wanted Miles Sanders and the drop-off at RB after him was extremely steep. I felt like I needed a difference maker so I took Kyler. Dillon in the 8th doesn’t feel great either. He may only return high-end handcuff value which would be a major reach. Had to swing for the fences since the RB position didn’t work out well for me. We’ll see.

Most Likely to Respond to Me on Slack: Matt

Whenever I post anything on Slack and it has one reaction, I know that reaction is going to be from Matt. He is singlehandedly keeping my Slack dream alive. Thanks buddy.

Team: The Philly Special

Strengths: RB – Having 4 starters is no joke. This is obviously the core of Matt’s team and a strong one at that.

Weaknesses: WR, TE – This is a sketchy group beyond Scary. Odell is coming off a terrible year on top of injury. I just wouldn’t be super confident there. The other guys are dart throws at best. Tight End is whatever in general but Higbee was barely startable last year. Stafford isn’t Goff though so we will see.

Values: Miles Sanders (4.07), Tyrell Williams (11.06) – Miles Sanders in the mid-4th is really good value. He was frustrating last year but he was pretty good in his small sample with Hurts. Tyrell is probably their only receiver so good value in the 11th.

Reaches: Tyler Higbee (7.06), Zack Moss (8.07) – I’m not even sure Higbee is as good as Fant or Goedert who were drafted after him so I don’t understand the pick. Zack Moss’ situation is presumably the exact same as last year and he wasn’t startable. Don’t really like it.

Part 2 to come soonish.

-Eric

Illegal use of hands (5) vs. Lord of the Wins (1)

The battle of the WRs. Brian’s DK and MT13 vs Rambo’s Davante Adams and Julio. Humorously, at the time of writing this both are also living in a delusion, each starting a RB that is clearly not playing this week.

QB – Advantage Brian (Lamar). Both have mouth-watering match-ups but Lamar is hot hot hot right now. Gotta go with him.

WR – Push. Both have 2 extremely strong WRs. Julio is the worst of the bunch but Davante Adams is the best.

RB – Brian, the only one of the 2 who will be starting a real RB and boy is Derrick Henry a real RB

TE – Who cares? Tonyan I guess. Unless you have Kelce, every tight end sucks.

FLEX – Rambo easily has the stronger depth here.

My Pick: Rambo but not by much. Rambo literally doesn’t have an RB on his team this week but his Flexes are just so much better than Brian’s. Rambo by 5.

Just Doulis (2) vs. Go Wilfork Yourself (6)

We have 2 pretty evenly matched teams in this one but it looks like Dags has the player match-up advantage here.

QB – Push. Both have pretty tasty match-ups here as well but both are ice-cold right now.

WR – George. Nuk and Keenan are tough to beat. Still, this is really where George needs to take a lead and Dags has Terry vs Seattle and Dionate Johnson vs Cinci. Might not be as big a difference as he is hoping for.

RB – Dags by a lot. He has JT who is on fire vs Houston who just gave up an 80yd TD to plodder Montgomery. He also has Josh Jacobs who is probably healthy now vs a vulnerable LAC. Mike Davis showed a little something again last week but hasn’t really even been good since Week 6 or 7 before that. Kenyan Drake is a piece of poop although I guess I just looked and he has actually done pretty well due to touchdowns the last 4 weeks. Hm…Still think he sucks though.

TE – George. Waller is better than Ebron but TDs could ruin George’s lead here.

FLEX – Dags by a lot. Having Chubb as one of your FLEXes will do that. Agholor seems like a sneaky decent play as well. George is playing 2 guys who are barely startable here. Antonio Brown has made double digits (10.10) once this year. David Johnson is fine but wouldn’t love going against Indy here.

My Pick: Dags. Everything seems to be aligned for a pretty easy Dags victory here. I’d say Dags by 20.

Good luck guys!

-Eric

Alvin & the Chipmunks (5-6) – 110.66
Shitty Last Place Team (4-7) – 137.80

Da Bad News Bears (3-8) – 110.70
Go Wilfork Yourself (6-5) – 121.64

Flappin in the Brees (3-8) – 75.02
Somehow a Playoff Team? (6-5) – 105.36

Gave Up Like 4 Weeks Ago (5-6) – 111.80
Lock to Win the League As Long As Dalvin Doesn’t Get Hurt (8-3) – 125.68

I Score 50 or 130 (6-5) – 123.44
Rambo (8-3) – 112.18

Really? Couldn’t win this one huh Rambo?

Roach Doulis (8-3) – 113.84
Robot (4-7) – 78.92

2 more weeks. The bitterness level can go up or down from here. We shall see.

Hope you all lose

-Eric

3 more weeks of the regular season to go. Most years 7-6 is the cut line. It really looks like a 6-7 has a chance to get in this year. That would mean EVERYONE is still live to get in. This league is always competitive, not surprising.

Alvin & the Chipmunks (5-5) – 118.50
Go Wilfork Yourself (5-5) – 135.18

Why Dags Won: Chubb (18.60), JJ (27.60), Diontae Johnson (20.60)
Why Eric Lost: Washington (0.00), The Wind Bowl

Dags needed wins and got them when he needed them most. Chubb is back and Dags is positioning himself for a nice playoff run. I need to find some way to end this miserable downward spiral. The only saving grace for me is that all of the other 5-5 teams suck (besides the guy who beat me this week) so maybe I can squeak in with a subpar record somehow.

Da Bad News Bears (3-7) – 125.70
The Philly Special (5-5) – 79.42

Why Tim Won: Claypool (19.30), Cole Beez (22.40), Malcolm Brown (18.10)
Why Matt Lost: D-Watson (wind), Zack Moss (2.20), Engram (2.50)

Tim got it done easily without his first 2 picks. He essentially did it with waiver wire guys too. Nicely done. Matt has not had a good week in what feels like forever but he is still 5-5 and more than alive for the playoffs. He needs Miles Sanders to turn all that potential into an actual good fantasy score. It is bound to happen, but when? (asking for a friend)

Flappin in the Brees (3-7) – 94.54
FantasyFootballTeam (7-3) – 120.72

Why Justin Won: Consistent performances across the board
Why Dave Lost: Brees (6.94), Cook (0.00)

Justin surprisingly won without monster performances from Dalvin and his Seahawks which is how he has gotten it done pretty much every other week. Scary if the rest of his team can come together too. Dave caught yet another bad break (or 5, get it?) with the Brees injury. Did that have anything to do with Jared Cook being awful? I actually do not know, didn’t see the game. Either way, that guy sucks. Dave has a high season point total and if he goes 3-0, I bet he makes the playoffs.

Football Sage! (5-5) – 72.22
Lord of the Wins (8-2) – 95.28

Why Patrick Won: Answers are not easy to come by..
Why Dad Lost: Where to begin?

Of course Rambo won with 95 points. Looks like Dad has just given up.

Illegal use of hands (5-5) – 66.96
YahooFantasyBot#36 (4-6) – 122.06

Why Jim Won: Joshy (28.86), Hines (26.00), Swift (23.40)
Why Brian Lost: we’ll just go with everyone

Jim seems to be gaining steam where most teams are losing it. Powered by D’Andre Swift, he is very much still in the hunt. Brian had one of the season’s worst performances with some unacceptable performances from his star WRs, DK and MT. Those guys (at least DK) are bound to bounce back. Brian is 5-5 and still alive.

Just Doulis. (7-3) – 123.14
If he dies he dies (3-7) – 90.24

Why George Won: Brady (31.84), DJM (17.60), Nuk (22.20)
Why Jeff Lost: Rams v Seattle, Conner (5.80), Fournette (4.00)

I think George thinks that if he calls out bad things publicly before they happen, then they won’t happen. Oh no, that fumble is going to make them feed Fournette! Uh oh, big Chris Carson touchdown, here comes Eric’s team! I’m done for! (wins by 30) Maybe it works? Jeff tried to capitalize on Seattle being a literal historically bad offense. Great plan on paper, just didn’t work. Conner still stinks. The guy is incapable of a run of more than 10 yards. This has to be his last year with a starting job. He’s just so sluggish and unexciting. Let me try a George here….OH NO HERE COMES CONNER! HE IS GONNA SCORE 30 AGAINST ME NEXT WEEK! (please don’t)

Good luck next week!

-Eric

Alvin & the Chipmunks (5-4) – 117.62
The Philly Special (5-4) – 85.44

The LA Chargers (2-7) – 135.20
FantasyFootballTeam (6-3) – 145.50

Flappin in the Brees (3-6) – 98.88
Lord of the Wins (7-2) – 117.70

Football Sage? (5-4) – 79.04
Jimbots (3-6) – 99.88

Illegal use of hands (5-4) – 105.80
Just Doulis (6-3) – 73.66

Go Wilfork Yourself (4-5) – 123.24
If he loses he loses (3-6) – 102.06

Good Luck in Week 10!

-Eric

Guest blog write up – Rambo edition. Eric needed a break from the blog posts so I tagged teamed in

L Alvin &the Chipmunks – 89.58 (4-4)
W FantasyFootballTeam – 138.34 (5-3)

Why Eric lost – Jonnu (3.90), J White (4.50), Baker (7.78)
Why Justin won – Cook (47.60), Rus (28.74), MJ Jr (17.40)

It’s also hard to win when you go against a player who throws up almost 50 points. Cook had himself a day when you would except the Vikings to abandon the run with an anticipated Packers blow out. Also Rus is undoubtedly the best quarterback in fantasy this year and no signs of slowing down anytime soon. Eric’s team was already on a downward spiral but having players injured and on bye this week definitely didn’t help. Besides Kamara, just not much to be excited about. Well okay – maybe Harris could be a consistent flex going forward, there’s your bright spot for the week.




L Lord of the Wins – 102.02 (6-2)
W Da Bad News Bears – 120.84 (2-6)

Why I lost – Perine (4.30), Bell (5.30), R Anderson (7.30)
Why Tim won – Tyreek (23.80), Kelce (20.90), Rodgers (22.54)

As Tim pointed out in slack, last place just beat first place and helps make the records more bunched up. Obviously my running back situation is ugly, always has, and always will this year. But I was really craving for some kind of revenge game from Bell to help me out this week. Besides my running backs, my team didn’t do awful but not anything impressive either. The KC vs Jets game could have been very hit or miss with Tyreek and Kelce. If KC went up big early, they might have pulled their starters. However to Tim’s fortune, KC didn’t fully hit the gas until the second half and kept them in the whole game.

W Flappin in the Brees – 102.46 (3-5)
L WashingtonCovidskins – 86.44 (2-6)

Why Dave won – Eagles D( 20.0), Burrow (18.85), Kupp (16.50)
Why Jim lost – Everyone except Mahomes and Hines

Rough week for Jim where no one really wanted to show up. Luckily Mahomes feasted on the Jets so it didn’t ruin Jim’s points-for stats when the playoff tie breakers come around. He’s still dealing with not having CMC but sounds like he’ll be back for week 9. Dave threw up a solid score even with having Golladay scoring zero points. Strong play with the Eagles defense for that awful Sunday night prime time game. It’s going to be interesting to see how CEH will do in the next few weeks

L Football Sage – 48.46 (5-3)
W Just Doulis – 94.46 (5-3)

Why Rick lost – Cooper (1.00), AP (1.70), Kittle (4.90)
Why George won – K Allen (17.20), J Jackson (15.70), Brady (19.06)

Rick’s team just never got it going this week. Unfortunate week for him: losing Kittle to IR for extended time, Hunt not taking advantage of the poor weather and potentially last game without Chubb, and Cooper having no chance at having a good QB the rest of the year. George’s running back situation is like stumbling into your fridge drunk and finding leftover pizza. No one says it’s good but it gets the job done. It will get thinner though as Davis will return to back-up with CMC coming back. Ugly showing by Brady and the Bucs but still got decent fantasy points.

W Illegal use of hands – 150.02 (4-4)
L If he dies he dies – 85.98 (3-5)

Why Brian won – Metcalf (34.10), M Williams (18.50), Henry (17.20)
Why Jeff lost – Jefferson (4.10), Ridley (5.70), Zek (7.80)

I truly believe Metcalf is the second coming of Megatron. I can see him being a first round fantasy pick next year. I also think Henry should have had a much bigger day but the Titans aren’t leaning on him as much as they could/should. Personally, I enjoy seeing Jefferson on the reason why Jeff lost. I’m still bitter about dropping him so I’m hoping the worst for Jefferson. I don’t know what to think about Zek, you would think he wouldn’t be hurt too bad fantasy wise without Dak but now I would want to stay as far away from a Dallas player as I can.

W The Philly Special – 105.90 (5-3)
L Go Wilfork Yourself – 98.74 (3-5)

Why Matt won – Davis (22.80), Moss (20.10), Gallman (12.70)
Why Dags lost – Diontae Johnson (1.10), Taylor (4.10), M Brown (6.80)

Gallman saved the day for Matt and secured him the win on Monday night. It was also a coin toss for to start Moss or Singletary and Matt picked the right one this week. Best of luck trying to pick this the rest of the season though.. Painful for Dags knowing that he could have started Herbert over Bridgewater to get the win. Dags was short on players this week due to bye’s but next week looks better and the hopeful return of Chubb.

Alvin & the Chipmunks (4-3) – 125.34
Lord of the Wins (6-1) – 136.70

Da Bad News Bears (1-6) – 94.12
YahooFantasyBot#36 (2-5) – 85.30

Flappin in the Brees (2-5) – 132.24
Just Doulis. (5-2) – 162.56

Football Sage! (5-2) – 97.76
Illegal use of hands (3-4) – 73.32

FantasyFootballTeam (4-3) – 118.72
Go Wilfork Yourself (3-4) – 150.48

The Philly Special (4-2) – 107.86
If he dies he dies (3-4) – 105.50

Alvin & the Chipmunks (4-2) – 67.12
YahooFantasyBot#36 (2-4) – 107.70

Why Jim Won: Justin Tucker (11.50), Keelan Cole (17.30), D’Andre Swift (25.80)
Why Eric Lost: Everyone Stinks (Except Kyler, you can stay)

Jim beat me with world beaters: Keelan Cole, D’Andre Swift and his kicker Justin Tucker. Those guys are good right? Jim’s team sucks dick and he beat me by 40 so what does that say about me? Fun week, I enjoyed it.

Da Bad News Bears (0-6) – 99.10
Just Doulis. (4-2) – 102.74

Why George Won: Kenyan Drake (28.40)
Why Tim Lost: Rodgers (5.80), Ingram (2.00), Tyreek (4.00)

George the roach does it again. Hanging onto that ‘league’s least points’ mantle like his life depended on it, George is somehow 4-2 now. What a joke. He won in the garbagest of garbage ways with a completely meaningless 70-yd TD at the end of the game, against a Dallas team that clearly just gave up. Tim who averages 3.3 points per week more than George is 0-6. Alrighty.

Flappin in the Brees (2-4) – 120.18
Illegal use of hands (3-3) – 128.24

Why Brian Won: Lamar (28.24), Big D Henry (39.40)
Why Dave Lost: Big Ben (10.98), Cooper Kupp (2.60)

Derrick Henry just flung Brian on his back and won week 6 for him single-handedly. 264 yards and 2 TDs? Decent. This masked a couple of putrid performances on Brian’s side but a W is a W. Dave put up a solid score but didn’t quite do enough. Cooper Kupp is always good for a few stinkers, this was definitely one of them.

Football Sage! (4-2) – 127.62
If he dies he dies (3-3) – 107.72

Why Dad Won: Wentz (29.42), Kittle (20.40), Amari Cooper (17.40)
Why Jeff Lost: Evans (1.50), Stafford (13.32)

As Dad would say, should’ve played J. Jefferson! Jeff must be nauseous looking at Matt Ryan and Justin Jefferson on his bench. It happens to us all. Dad told me he had all but dropped Wentz and looked at his score after the game to find that he somehow scored almost 30 points. (#fantasy) Kittle is killing it and seeing 17 from Amari Cooper post-Dak has to be a bit of a relief. (Dalton still sucks though)

Lord of the Wins (5-1) – 124.06
Go Wilfork Yourself (2-4) – 120.78

Why Patrick Won: Tannehill (29.56), Julio (29.70), A.J. Brown (20.10)
Why Dags Lost: Chase Edmonds (3.40), Hollywood (7.70), Kicker (0.50)

Dags made a valiant final push with Christian Kirk but only succeeded in making Rambo sweat. The Titans are almost unrealistically efficient this year. I mocked Rambo for his love of the Titans but once again, I am apparently the dummy (thanks for Jonnu). Dags needs to get healthy and start winning some games stat. His team is good enough but the season is slipping away from him.

FantasyFootballTeam (4-2) – 77.94
The Philly Special (3-3) – 93.80

Why Matt Won: Deshaun Watson (32.00), Deebo (15.00)
Why Justin Lost: Hard to pick….not Gronk I guess

The trademark ugly match of the week. Deshaun Watson and Deebo looked good and that is about the only positive thing I can say. Miles Sanders seems to have a avoided catastrophic injury, so that’s good too. Matt humorously played the wrong defense (-1.00 vs 19.00) but wasn’t made to pay for it like my brother had to. The only thing more pathetic than Justin’s performance this week was mine.

Let’s forget about Week 6 and move on to Week 7, shall we?

-Eric

Alvin & the Chipmunks (4-1) – 100.10
Just Doulis. (3-2) – 139.62

Why George Won: Mike Davis (25.40), Nuk (22.10), DJ Moore (17.30)
Why Eric Lost: Boyd (6.20), Chark (3.10), Juju (4.80)

Non-QB TDs ~ George: 7, Eric: 1. That essentially tells the story of the week. George requested that I gush about how much of a genius he is that he picked up Mike Davis so here goes. Mike Davis is somehow nearly matching what CMC would have done. I can’t imagine George expected him to be even half as good as he has been (which still would have been good) but boy did it work out. It sounds like George will get at least one more ride on the Mike Davis train. I think Kenyan Drake rushed for negative yards but still got a touchdown. My one guy who did well (Kyler) just so happened to throw everything to DeAndre Hopkins essentially nullifying anything good I had going. It was just one of those weeks…

Da Bad News Bears (0-5) – 105.76
Illegal use of hands (2-3) – 115.50

Why Brian Won: DK (24.30), CeeDee (16.40), Emmanuel Sanders (18.20)
Why Tim Lost: Aiyuk (5.90), Ingram (5.70), Didn’t play Chase Claypool (39.10)

Michael Thomas was ruled out due to punching a teammate but Emmanuel Sanders did a nice MT-impression in his place. Lamar under-performed once again, DK smashed again. Brian’s team seems to be getting healthy and he is very much in the thick of things at 2-3. Tim remains win-less. I still think that with a different schedule Tim could be a 3-2 team but it has not been in the cards thus far. Who knows, we have seen teams like this go on a run.

Flappin in the Brees (2-3) – 92.40
Football Sage! (3-2) – 119.24

Why Dad Won: Thielen (24.80), Baltimore D (26.00)
Why Dave Lost: Tre’Quan Smith (1.80), CEH (9.50), HH (1.80)

Another bittersweet week for Dad. His team continues to win, but he lost another key piece, Dak Prescott. As if that weren’t bad enough, it is a major downgrade for Amari Cooper (presumably) as well. How long can Dad weather the injury storm? He currently has the league’s 2nd highest point total. This week was a bit of a letdown for Dave’s team. CEH didn’t do awful but he scored about half as much as you would expect from your 1st-rder. Dave keeps guessing wrong on which TE to play though it wouldn’t have mattered regardless. Dave, like many others, needs to tread water until he can get one of his heavy hitters (Ekeler) back.

YahooFantasyBot#36 (1-4) – 110.60
Go Wilfork Yourself (2-3) – 103.22

Why YahooFantasyBot#36 Won: My algorithms produced a higher score than the lineup that my human adversary put forth. Beep Boop.
Why Dags Lost: Terry (4.10), Diontae Johnson (0.30), Dalton Schultz (1.10)

Jim got 17.90 points out of the TE position this week. The problem is that he had 3 of them (2 of which scored under 3). None of that mattered though since Mahomes and Darrell Henderson propelled Jim to his first win. Dags has hit a bit of a rough path in the past few weeks. For the 2nd time in 3 weeks, Diontae Johnson has scored less than a point, an almost automatic week ruiner. Schultz lost Dak and even Terry who is used to awful QB play had to deal with an old QB who they ran out there because it was a cool story. Dags is still 2-3 but needs to get healthy fast.

Lord of the Wins (4-1) – 129.60
The Philly Special (2-3) – 115.08

Why Rambo Won: TITANS (48.50), B-Cooks? (26.10)
Why Matt Lost: Deebo (3.20), Singletary (3.80), Philly (-1.00)

The legend of Rambo lives on. His Titans hadn’t practiced in like 2 weeks but that apparently didn’t matter. (Tannehill 30, Jonnu 18.5). AJ Brown even burned another 18 points on the bench. Brandin Cooks can apparently score anywhere between 0 and 30 on any given week. I don’t know if it’s balls or stupidity putting zero-floor Cooks into your lineup, but it certain worked (8-161-1). What once seemed like a terrible team is now 4-1 showing no signs of slowing down. What do I know? Matt had a mixed bag of performances. Big positives for Miles Sanders, Deshaun Watson, and TG3; Deebo, Odell, Singletary? ~ not so much. It still feels like Matt’s Team is finding its way but is much closer to its destination now than it was in Week 1 or Week 2. Matt’s team will be tested by the 1st place team and league points leader (Justin) next week.

FantasyFootballTeam (4-1) – 99.68
If he dies he dies (3-2) – 95.58

Why Justin Won: Russ (25.48), 1-half of Dalvin (17.40)
Why Jeff Lost: Dimes (8.18), Big Mo (0.00), Justin Jefferson (3.80), KC (-1.00)

Justin pulled out the victory with 30 minutes of Dalvin and some replacement scrubs. He didn’t do anything remarkable here, his replacements scored about 6 points each, Jeff just couldn’t beat it. Oddly, the core of Jeff’s team did what it was supposed to do which is usually not the case when you score under 100. Mo-Smelly Farts (™) scored 0. Danny Dimes scored single digits. Defense scored negative points. Outscored in the kicker battle by 4.5 points. If ONE of those things didn’t happen, Jeff wins. The good news? This is pretty much bad luck or at least easily fixable. When the core of your team is in tact and scoring well, the good weeks are due to make a comeback.

Good luck in Week 6!