Eric (7-4) – 96.52
Jeff (7-4) – 136.36

Tim (4-7) – 76.94
Dags (3-8) – 121.92

Skahan (7-4) – 104.26
Ryan (2-9) – 75.08

Dad (7-4) – 107.26
Justin (6-5) – 83.66

Brian (6-5) – 120.48
Rambo (7-4) – 120.56

George (4-7) – 123.98
Jim (6-5) – 145.92

Eight teams still live for the playoffs. It’s gonna be an interesting 2 weeks! Good luck.

Eric (7-3) – 158.02
Dags(2-8) – 124.48

Tim (4-6) – 79.38
Ryan (2-8) – 93.24

Dave (6-4) – 124.66
Justin (6-4) – 131.58

Dad (6-4) – 101.42
Rambo (6-4) – 95.90

Brian (6-4) – 129.62
Jim (5-5) – 97.88

George (4-6) – 86.42
Jeff (6-4) – 100.44

Eric (6-3) – 103.60
Ryan (1-8) – 102.24

Tim (4-5) – 100.08
Justin (5-4) – 145.22

Dave (6-3) – 128.94
Rambo (6-3) – 111.70

Dad (5-4) – 108.16
Jim (5-4) – 64.26

Brian (5-4) – 145.12
George (4-5) – 89.34

Dags (2-7) – 90.76
Jeff (5-4) – 139.10

Dalvin & the Chipmunks (5-3) – 152.88
Fart Huffing M.D.s (4-4) – 135.18

Why Eric won:  Tevin (36.80), Dalvin (25.60), Can’t-Guard-Mike (21.80)
Why Justin lost:  Russ (15.68), Jimmy Graham (3.50)

Remember when people thought Matt Breida was the pick over Tevin? Good times. My team is firing on all cylinders right now, rattling off my 4th win in a row. It feels great when your top 2 picks actually deliver, something I haven’t had in this league for a very long time. Justin’s team was essentially blameless in this loss, putting up a monster 135 points in the loss. I’ll take any opportunity to take a dump all over Jimmy Graham at any point I can though: still sucks, still a pussy that refuses to throw a block. Saints are on bye this week but the fact that Justin’s team is capable of putting up this many points without his first round pick is scary.

Da Bad News Bears (4-4) – 110.06
I Hardly Hit Her (6-2) – 130.32

Why Rambo won:  Julio (20.20), CMC (25.50), Edelman (23.50)
Why Tim lost:  Fitz (1.80), Dede (0.00, hurt)

Rambo stakes his claim as the sole 6-2, positioning himself to claim one of the 2 coveted bye spots. CMC returned from bye delivering a pedestrian 25 points against a top-3 defense. He is matchup-proof. Edelman and Julio dropped 20-apiece only Julio did it with zero TDs (Edelman had 2). Even Mike Evans’ monster game (37.30) couldn’t save Tim in this one. Larry Fitz seems to finally be succumbing to father time. If you graphed his points…it’s pretty much this clip art:

Dede got hurt early and zeroes usually don’t help much, just ask Ryan. Tim gets Justin in Week 9.

HotChubbTimeMachine (5-3) – 102.36
BabyCharknDaHomeless (5-3) – 106.00

Why Jim won:  D.J. Chark (16.90), Fournette (17.10), Nick Bosa (17.00)
Why Dave lost:  MJJ (4.20), Hock (2.60), Derrick Henry (6.80)

No rain dance needed this week. Just Jim’s Jags doing just barely enough with a little help from DROY candidate Nick Bosa. Surprisingly this was only the 3rd lowest winning score of the week, though 3 losers this week would have easily beat Jim. Dave stumbled a bit this week. Marvin had a TD hangover, Derrick Henry didn’t find the end zone, and Hock is just not an exciting starter, even in a world where every TE sucks. Jim has his Godwin voodoo doll at the ready for Football Sage’s squad in Week 9.

Football Sage! (4-4) – 122.88
Just Doulis. (4-4) – 166.90

Why George won:  Cooper Kupp (31.50), Latavius (32.20), RAJAHS (27.10)
Why Dad lost:  Kyle Rudolph (3.20), Godwin (8.30), Wentz (14.38)

Cooper Kupp cracks me up. How does he get as open as he does with little to no athletic ability? Every time I see him catch a ball he’s wide open but runs like he has a load of poop in his pants. Mysterious. George’s ride on the Latavius train has (presumably) come to an end but the ride came with a few free Ws so I’m sure George isn’t too upset. For Dad, Monty finally showed up but it didn’t matter because he ran into a monster this week. You can blame the loss on the guys mentioned above but reality is that Dad was up against a borderline unbeatable score this week.

Illegal use of hands (4-4) – 82.20
50% Chance to Win (4-4) – 99.16

Why Jeff won:  Nuk (16.40), Lockett (13.00), Not falling on his face
Why Brian lost:  Leveon (5.00), Bob Woods (5.20), Crowder (3.90)

Jeff just needed his guys to show up and come somewhere near whatever Yahoo projections they were given and that’s exactly what he did. Not gonna give Jeff too hard a time for that though with the league’s Top Points Against total (opponents have averaged 126.5 against him). Brian’s needed more from his big guys. Leveon and Bobby Dubs need to put up more than 5 points if Brian is going to come anywhere close to winning. He will look to bounce back against Georgie this week.

CBDGaveMeMagicPowers (1-7) – 84.58
The Champ (2-6) – 96.04

Why Dags won:  Saquon (24.30), Christian Kirk (13.80), Didn’t take much
Why Ryan lost:  THREE Goose Eggs

Ugly one. Dags won, I guess. It took 3 Ryan goose eggs to do it, and even then it was fairly close but a win’s a win. Dags is 2-6 and still technically not eliminated from playoff contention. Saquon is good. Dags, you probably don’t read this but the Witcher 3! Dude, it’s good. Ryan, who DEFINITELY doesn’t read this only played one guy that didn’t play this week. He still did his lineup on Sunday unprompted though so that was nice. Injuries to Cooks and Conner on top of the rest is just brutal. Fantasy can be cruel.

Good luck next week!

Can I first just say that this league is awesome? Look how close it is!

Everyone always fights super hard in this league and it is always competitive and fun. I feel like any of these 10 could easily make or not make the playoffs. Let’s move on to the WEEK 7 results shall we?

Dalvin & the Chipmunks (4-3) – 148.62
I Hardly Hit Her (5-2) – 78.04

Why Eric won:  Dalvin (27.40), Sony (21.90), Jax D (17.00)
Why Rambo lost:  Fuller (1.10, hurt), Delanie (0.00, hurt), Breida (4.10, hurt)

My team bounced back from a poop week (that I won regardless) with the top score of the week. Dalvin is just phenomenal. He is rock-solid, reliable and the easy number 1 if CMC doesn’t exist. Sony rushed for 3 yards this week but he also rushed for 3 touchdowns. TD-dependent and scary to own but this week paid off. Jacksonville’s defense against the 0-7 Bengals also proved to be a good choice. Rambo had 3 in-game injuries, not ideal. I did win by 70 so he wasn’t winning anyway but still, not fun. Rambo gets #1 fantasy player Christian McCaffrey back next week for his matchup with Tim.

Da Bad News Bears (4-3) – 75.36
BabyCharkgobbledegook (4-3) – 93.50

Why Jim won:  The Minsh (21.00), Fournette (15.50), The Rain (15.00)
Why Tim lost:  Matty Ice (3.56), DJ (0.20), Fitz (1.70)

Hey, you can’t keep Jim down forever! He’s just gonna keep scoring 90 points and eventually he’s gonna play someone that scores sub-80. Jim and winning fantasy matchups he doesn’t deserve to win: name a more iconic duo. The heavens were literally on Jim’s side this week as the rain and SF’s elite D held the Redskins to a goose egg. Jim’s JAX or bust strategy got him a few more points and it was enough to beat Tim. It was an unfortunate week for Tim. The Bears looked like they were in a completely different league than the Saints. Tim saw Matty Ice get hurt (though supposedly not too severe). He also started David Johnson who (not joking) was active but they decided not to risk injury because of the weather. Is Jim actually a shaman doing rain dances before Sundays at 1:00? Show me the evidence to the contrary.

HotChubbTimeMachine (5-2) – 109.92
Just Doulis. (3-4) – 133.36

Why George won:  RAJAHS (43.76), Smoke (16.80), Hoops (12.60)
Why Dave lost:  Devonta Freeman (3.50, ejected), Ridley (5.00), Jordan Howard (6.60)

Whew! George needed a win in a big way and Aaron Rodgers delivered with the game of his life (and that is saying something). 435yds, 6 TDs and no INTs is a prettyyyyy nice game. That was really all George needed. John Brown was a nice spot play against a putrid Miami D without Xavien Howard no less and Hoops goose-egged 90% of the game but ended up with 13 anyway in true junk-time-allstar fashion. Dave’s Falcons let him down this week. Devonta Freeman laughably got into a fight with Aaron Donald who basically laughed in his face and picked him up by his head. Still, this got Freeman ejected turning what would have probably been a mean 6 points into 3.5 instead. The Eagles got curb-stomped by Dallas and Jordan Howard got game-scripted out. This was a down-week for Dave at 110 points so I wouldn’t be too worried about anything if I were him about now. Dave gets voodoo doctor Jim in Week 8.

Football Sage! (4-3) – 100.64
Illegal use of hands (4-3) – 110.42

Why Brian won:  Lamar (23.32), Ebron (15.00), Rams D (21.00)
Why Dad lost:  Wentz (7.84), Robby Anderson (1.50), Monty (0.90), Sanu (0.80)

Lamar put up what has become pedestrian numbers for him (hint: very good). He took it to Seattle D rushing for 116 yds and a TD. He even threw it a little! Ebron made a circus catch and reminded us that he is good at football if only given the chance. The Rams D just clobbered the depressingly bad Atlanta Falcons. Dad had a lot of bad performances this week so the fact that he made to the century mark is impressive. Wentz looked awful in a huge divisional matchup against the Cowboys. Sanu had a down week along with the rest of the Falcons (although the big news of the day is that he got traded somewhere pretty exciting). Dad despite HAVING the insane Pats D neglected to factor in that Robby Anderson would be shadowed by the league’s top shadow corner: Stephon Gilmore.

Sage Advice: play C. Davis

Fart Huffing M.D.’s (4-3) – 88.54
The Champ (1-6) – 108.56

Why Dags won:  Saquon (15.50), JJ (14.90), Dorsett (12.10)
Why Justin lost:  Golladay (2.60), Alshon (4.80), Seattle D (2.00)

Take Dags off that suicide watch! He’s on the board! Saquon returned this week and even with a mediocre (for him) game, made a major contribution to Dags’ win. Josh Jacobs put up an easy 15 without a TD. He is shaping up to be a very impressive rookie. Dorsett did his part too since apparently someone needs to catch passes from Tom Brady. Justin’s team stumbled this week. One can only hope he stumbles next week as well. Golladay, after a very strong Week 6, fell flat with 1 catch for 21 yards. The Eagles didn’t show up to play against Dallas on Sunday night and Seattle couldn’t figure out how to stop Lamar Jackson (pssst…he likes to run. Let’s start there). Justin plays the handsomest guy in the league next week.

42.86% Chance To Win (3-4) – 103.36
CBDMadeMePlayInactiveGuys (1-6) – 52.74

Why Jeff won:  Nuk (21.10), Waller (28.10), Lockett (14.30)
Why Ryan lost:  Mahomes (7.24, hurt), Chris Thompson (0.00, inactive), the rest

I’m happy to finally be able to put DeAndre Hopkins on the reasons why Jeff won list. He really has been due for a 20+ game. Fuller’s injury may force Nuk even more targets than he already gets. Waller blew up for 7/126/2 in a game where the Raiders were playing constant catchup against Rodgers. Lockett has quietly been extremely consistent this year with only 1 week out of 7 under 10 points (7.10). Did Ryan really not know that Chris Thompson was out or did he rage quit the league when his last bastion of hope, Mahomes, was injured on Thursday night? Ryan didn’t have a single scorer over 10 and put up one of the ugliest scores I’ve ever seen. Not much more to say, hopefully I don’t need to do his lineup going forward.

Good luck in Week 8!

Hi all,
This is Rick (Football Sage) doing this weeks recap.

I’ll start with my game against Jeff.
Early in the season I thought Jeff had a good team, but the last four weeks have not been kind to 141 2/3. This week was his biggest defeat, although he would have beat many other teams.

Why I won… 195.04 points, wow!
I had seven players with 20 plus points led by S Diggs with 40 points.
I picked up J Williams Sunday at 12:11 off the scrap pile and he scored 21.6 points
I continue to be blessed with the Pats D with 27 points.
Sometimes you can just do no wrong.

Why Jeff lost. (115.00)
Bad timing with opponent.
A Ekler 4.3 points
Green Bay  D 3.00 ….it should have been less
Sage advice…. play T Lockett

Eric vs Jim

Eric, shame shame.
You had no right to win this week. You scored a miserable 81.42 points with only T McLaurin 24.00 playing decent.
J Goff 1.12 points? Wow! I have crappy Jimmy G I will trade you.
But as a manager what was up with your bench? They as a team would have beat your first team.
Sage advice…. play H Henry… he is pretty good ….. 26 points
But a win is a win.
Love you son!

Jim, shame, shame, shame!
78.72 measly points. Why Jim lost…..
I guess the luck of the mustache ran out …5.62 points
Jim’s highest point total was L Fournette with 14.8 points
The Chark only 5.8 hurt you cause.

Tim vs George
Tim 127.14 … pretty good
Tim was led by his BC pal Matty Ice with 30.94 which was his best week so far I think.
D Johnson kicked in with 25.2 points

Why George lost…. 111.82
I just feel like karma is totally against George.
Last week Eric had a crazy week, and this week George had some good performances.
C Carson 23.9
A Hooper 21.7 but players like C Krupp 3.74 didn’t help the cause. Also C Hyde on your bench with 17.50 hurt.

Dave vs Brian
Dave 128.30 has a solid team. I think N Chubb is a beast. D Freeman was great 25.3
Tough break with Dissly going forward.
Watson had a great week

Why Brian lost…83.73
Leveon Bell…. I think he stinks as a top player. Playing with the Jets is not a good place for him. Maybe he will do better as Darnold establishes himself.
Smith-Schuster and R Woods stunk.
Sage advice…G Tate….

Rambo vs Chris
Why Rambo won…. played Chris
Also
Rambo has a very solid team (#1)
C McCaffery is without a doubt the best fantasy player. Denver D has a surprising 23 points.
Our boy Edelman pitched in with 15.8

Why Chris, my godson lost … (#12)
He now has 3 little ones running around and doesn’t have time for this crap!
Sorry Chris, but it’s not looking good for playoffs this year, but I always think of you as a strong player.

Justin vs Ryan

Justin had a solid week 121.5 while Ryan didn’t apply enough CBD oil. 82.18
Led by Wilson, A Jeffrey and K Golladay and the Carolina D, Justin easily beat hemp

Ryan had a strong performance by J Conner 27.4, but Cooks 4.7,  McDonald 1, D Robinson 0 and Thompson 3

Well that is my recap.
Eric, you’re right, this is time consuming!
Especially when you don’t know a lot about every single player like you.

Commisioner’s Note: Thanks Dad, this was funny!

Dalvin & the Chipmunks (2-3) – 173.00
Just Doulis. (2-3) – 144.72

Why Eric won:  MT13 (35.70), Sony (19.80), Tyler Boyd (23.30), Philly D (35.00)
Why George lost:  Rodgers (9.42), Bad Luck

Well then! Everyone decided to show up at the same time. Alrighty. Mike Thomas finally blew up for 11/182/2 making me happy with my first-rounder for the first time this year. Sony averaged more than 1 YPC (amazing) this week so that helped as well. Even about halfway through the 4th-quarter, it looked like Boyd was going to put up about 5 but somehow ended up with 23. But Philly D is what really won me the week. I sort of felt like a schmuck bidding $4 on a defense for a 1-week rental but if that $4 buys you a win I would say it’s worth it. What can you say about George? Losing while putting up 145 sucks. There is a good chance that will be the league-high losing score of the year. George’s team is hot and will look to stay that way against Tim next week.

Da Bad News Bears (3-2) – 131.20
Illegal use of hands (3-2) – 74.84

Why Tim won:  ARob (25.20), Matty Ice (32.90), Kittle (17.80)
Why Brian lost: Lamar Jax (14.44), Gallman (1.40, concussion), Ebron (1.30)

Tim won by 55 even with getting goose egged by Evans. He needed it too after taunting (no one?) about the Bears and then proceeding to immediately lose the game. ARob is looking like the best player on the Bears offense and it’s not close. Matty Ice’s team sucks but that necessitates him constantly throwing from behind which is great news for Tim. Trade window is now presumably closed for Kittle as well, looking like the 2018 Kittle for the first-time this year. Brian’s team put up half the points that it put up last week. Where the fuck was that last week Brian? Ebron had 1 catch again, but this time it wasn’t a 50-yd touchdown. Gallman made an early exit leaving (?) at RB. Lamar Jackson has been a huge component of Brian’s success and it showed this week. Brian will look to bounce back against 2nd place Skahan.

HotChubbTimeMachine (4-1) – 129.42
Football Sage! (3-2) – 111.16

Why Dave won:  Brady (24.92), Ridley (17.30), Devonta Freeman (15.50)
Why Dad lost: Wentz (12.06), Corey Davis (3.80), Diggs (5.90)

Dave had the epitome of a solid week all around. He didn’t have any of the 50 hammers on his roster this week but every single person in the lineup did their job or slightly exceeded it. Dad had some duds: Philly D stole all of Wentz’ points, Corey Davis came back to earth, and Diggs continues to struggle. Luckily for Dad, Tyreek comes back soon and his absence has been apparent. Also, he has Chris Godwin who may be the #1 fantasy WR in the league right now (projected to finish with a ridiculous 105/1635/19 line). That helps too.

noWWwinthisweek (3-2) – 111.26
The Winless Champ (0-5) – 71.44

Why Jim won:  D.J. Chark (32.40), Fournette (21.70), Ertz (14.20)
Why Dags lost:  Whole Team Stinks Minus Josh Jacobs (43.64)

The much-anticipated(?) 2018 finals rematch ended up being the lowest-scoring matchup of the week by about 20 points. Jim got his revenge by kicking Dags’ weeks-cold corpse a couple of times. Does it even feel good beating this team? Jim’s Jags are looking good though which has to be exciting. Minshew-mania has made a significant impact on Jim’s 2019 chances. As for Dags, it’s just sad. Thanks for continuing to do your lineup, buddy. I’ve been playing the Witcher 3, I think you would like it. Sweet game.

I Hardly Hit Her (4-1) – 153.74
CBDGaveMeMagicPowers (1-4) – 74.44

Why Rambo won:  FULLER (46.70), McCaffrey (44.70), Edelman (21.00)
Why Ryan lost: Chiefs underwhelmed (18.54/4.60/5.30)

Rambo’s team is hilarious. His team outside of these guys fucking SUCKED. These 3 guys accounted for 73% of his team’s points. Some more interesting numbers: Fuller scored 65% of his season’s points in yesterday’s game. He very nearly doubled his entire season output to this point. Ryan could be mad about this but he also would’ve lost by 40 if Fuller scored zero points. Ryan’s team is all in on the Chiefs and the Steelers. The Chiefs offense has stalled a bit lately (Mahomes ankle? no Tyreek?) and Mason Rudolph, already a backup, got a 1-way ticket to Mars punched by Earl Thomas yesterday. Not looking good.

Fart Huffing M.D.s (3-2) – 175.04
40%ChanceToWin – (2-3) – 97.62

Why Justin won:  AARON JONES (45.70), Coop (34.10), Russ (29.92)
Why Jeff lost: Hammy Watkins (0.00), 0-BJ(4.00), Waller (5.90)

Man I would’ve killed myself if I played Justin this week and lost. Justin’s team erupted. Aaron Jones had the game of his life racking up 4 TDs and nearly 200 yards. Coop also put up a personal best in yardage for his young career with 226 yards. Russ looked masterful on Thursday – just perfect ball placement on every throw and knows exactly when to run with it. Jeff didn’t have a chance even if his team played well. It did not. Sammy Watkins is back to his old breathe-on-me-and-I-get-hurt self. OBJ is on the Browns who, as it turns out, are not a super bowl contender. Who knew! Pretty amazing that OBJ was 10x better with Eli Manning than with the Browns. Don’t give me the O-Line excuse either because the Giants O-Line was fucking putrid for years and OBJ was still the man. Not blaming the pick (I have him in another league), just super disappointing. Jeff has the highest points against in the league and still has a very strong team that I would consider a favorite to make the playoffs.

That’s it, good luck in week 6!

Dalvin & the Chipmunks (1-3) – 90.28
Illegal use of hands (3-1) – 129.28

Why Brian won:  Bob Woods (22.90), Gallman (24.80), Ebron’s 1 catch (11.30)
Why Eric lost: Poop Balt D (-1.00), The 4.80 Trio (OJ, Samuel, Boyd)

Lamar Jax continues to roll, even if it is in junk-time after getting summarily humiliated by the awful Baker and the Browns. Goff managed to throw the ball 70 times and still ended up with far less points than LJax and less than Bobby Woods as well. Riddle me that. Gallman filled in quite nicely for Saquon and is looking to be worth what Brian paid. My team stinks, save me Melvin! I play George this week, let me win.

Da Bad News Bears (2-2) – 109.38
Football Sage! (3-1) – 121.30

Why Dad won: Pats D (25.00), Corey Davis (17.60), Momo Sanu (13.60)
Why Tim lost: The Bad Mack (3.90), Greg Olsen (1.50), Matty Ice (15.68)

I just read ‘Why Dad won’ out loud again: his defense, Corey Davis and Mohamed Sanu. Huh. How about that. I mocked Dad for taking the Pats D super early but apparently I’m a big dummy and know nothing about football. Dad didn’t play Godwin and wasn’t penalized for it (no judgment, neither did I in another league). Tim’s team didn’t do too poorly but Marlon Mack inexplicably got yanked from the game at the end in favor of Hines and Kyle Allen sucks (duh).

HotChubbTimeMachine (3-1) – 136.80
141 2/3% ChanceToWin (2-2) – 101.14

Why Dave won:  CHUBB (37.80), Davante Adams (23.00), Dissly (15.20)
Why Jeff lost: Hopkins (5.60), Odell (3.00), Sammy (4.90)

BUY LOW WINDOW CLOSED: Davante Adams explodes. Well, but then it sort of opened again because he got hurt. Trade him to me. Nick Chubb absolutely murdered the Ravens. Just gross. 183 yards and 3 TDs. WHEW. Jeff lost because he played bums like DeAndre Hopkins and Odell Beckham. Clearly he should’ve targeted studs like Mohamed Sanu and Corey Davis. Adjust your draft strategy for next year Jeffrey, The Football Sage has wisdom to impart. (But seriously help me though, what am I doing wrong, all of my teams stink)

Just Doulis. (2-2) – 124.68
The Champ(?) (0-4) – 94.20

Why George won: RAJAHS (26.48), Gurley (22.50), Coop and Hoops (22.40, 17.50)
Why Dags lost:  Wide Receivers made me puke on my shoes (4 WRS – 14.30 combined points)

Rodgers finally had a good game. Who knew that throwing to Davante Adams would be a good idea? George’s Rams did work because there were like 200 points scored in that game. Gurley actually looked pretty shitty but scored 2 TDs. Better hope that keeps going. Austin Hooper! 17.50 without a TD? I got my eye on you big fella. #2 TE by average, I see you Hooper. Trade him to me for OJ? He was supposed to be good, what’s that worth? Dags has probably given up. I’ve practically given up and I have a lot more hope than Dags at this point. What do you do with a WR crew like that? Truly heinous. Maybe T.Y. comes back this week and gives Dags a prayer against Jim in the FINALS REMATCH.

BabyCharkblabla (2-2) – 135.20
CBDblabla (1-3) – 99.30

Why Jim won: The W-Eater (30.30), Fournette (25.50), Seattle D (16.00)
Why Ryan lost:  Demarcus Robinson (5.50), Mahomes (18.00)

The battle of the 2 teams whose names I don’t feel like typing out. Fournette pounded Denver. Those 25.50 don’t include a single touchdown and 200+ yards rushing. The Bucs scored 50+ so Jameis got a couple points this week as well. This will be the only game of the year that Mahomes doesn’t score a TD. He still got 18 but that is like 10 below expectation at this point. Ryan needs Mahomes to win. Period.

I Hardly Hit Her (3-1) – 70.28
Fart Huffing M.D.’s (2-2) – 85.00

Why Justin won: Golladay (21.20), 404 File Not Found
Why Rambo lost: Everyone but CMC

Take it away Judge Judy. This one was ugly. Kenny Golladay had a good game and that is pretty much the only good thing I can say about this one. The once fearsome Rambo shit all over himself in this one. Didn’t help that Keenum got hurt/benched/whatever but I mean…you played Case Keenum. What are you really expecting? 10-14 points? The fact McCaffrey put up 30 and Rambo put up 70 is legitimately shocking. Patrick hopes this is a one time anomaly. Justin will take the free win despite not earning it in any way, shape, or form.

Good luck next week!

Dalvin & the Chipmunks (1-2) – 129.36
Football Sage! (2-1) – 99.66

Why Eric won: Dalvin (22.30), Shep (23.60), Agholor (19.00)
Why Dad lost: Diggs (3.00), Godwin (5.50), The Cowboys Pummeling Miami Too Hard (14.90)

Needed it! After seriously questioning why I do fantasy football at all (still sort of do), an 0-3 start may have put an end to the recaps altogether. But on the back of #1 fantasy RB through 3 weeks, Dalvin Cook (24.63 ppg), I cobbled together my first win of the season and here I am writing a recap. Not only has Dalvin scored the most RB points this year but he has done it with consistency (25.00 -> 26.60 -> 22.30). IF I can make the the playoffs, I’m salivating at having Dalvin, Melvin, and MT13 with Brees back. Speaking of Minnesota, who saw Diggs and Thielen’s plummets coming? All of a sudden the team throws like 50% less this year? It’s not even like they are playing bad, the volume is just non-existent. Godwin took a backseat this week to Evans and his 4300 points – who cares, just a down week. Zeke only scoring 14.90 was actually a legitimate letdown for Dad. I was thinking if I could get away with Zeke scoring 25 against Miami I’d be getting away with murder. 15 was just way too good to be true. Had Zeke played the whole game he undoubtedly would’ve had 30+.

Da Bad News Bears (2-1) – 155.86
HotChubbTimeMachine (2-1) – 97.44

Why Tim won: EVANS (41.00)
Why Dave lost: Davante Adams (7.60), Ridley (1.10)

Rotoworld put it the best: “Buy-Low window closed: Mike Evans explodes.” I think everyone knew he was due but Jesus. DJ, Mack, Bears D, and Matty Ice all put on solid performances as well but Evans scoring 30 OVER PROJECTION is what won Tim the week. Skahan’s WRs let him down this week. Davante Adams has been surprisingly quiet thus far averaging 5 catches per game and yet to score a TD. Will I be repeating the “Buy-Low window closed: Davante Adams explodes” against Philly’s weak-ass pass D come next week? We’ll see. Didn’t watch the Atlanta game but what happened to Ridley? 1.10 points? Where was that shit last week?

Illegal use of hands (2-1) – 102.48
The Champ (0-3) – 92.32

Why Brian won: Rex Burkhead (15.90), Rex Burkhead (15.90), Rex Burkhead (15.90)
Why Dags lost: John Ross (1.10), Saquon (RIP, 5.70), Josh Jacobs (4.40), Mark Andrews (3.00)

Brian’s team didn’t really deserve to win this one but hey, these wins happen all the time, it’s the nature of fantasy. Lamar almost came back to beat the Chiefs and it looks like Mason Rudolph and Juju semi-figured it out a little bit. Has anyone heard from Dags? The combination of losing to Rex Burkhead, losing Saquon, losing T.Y., and starting 0-3 has me worried about him. It obviously sucks losing Saquon but he’s only out 4-8 weeks? Ok fine that’s pretty bad and I’m not sure Dags’ team can survive that. It particularly stings when you lose not one but 2 stars mid-game in a match you surely would have won otherwise. But anyway yeah, REX BURKHEAD. Rex finally delivered Dags the Stone Cold Stunner he’s been asking for since last year, I just wish it could’ve been me.

Just Doulis. (1-2) – 127.50
CBDGaveMeMagicPowers (1-2) – 84.16

Why George won: Thielen (19.10), Hoops (21.60), Kupp (27.70), Jax D (15.00)
Why Ryan lost: Conner (5.70), Vance McDonald (1.50), Tennessee D (1.00)

Georgie snags win number one this week with a little help from 6 TDs via the 3 guys mentioned above. Kupp himself had a fantastic game: 11/12, 102yds, 2 TDs. Coop’s gonna be SICK these last 4 games he plays this year before he’s out for the year. Ryan’s Steelers let him down. He needs the Steelers offense to turn it around in a big way. Tennessee D on paper looked like a good choice: Jacksonville, rookie QB, Thursday Night Game ~ …but he didn’t count on the mustache coming in and giving Vrabel’s squad the business. MINSHEW – how can you not love this guy?

BabyCharkDaJHomeless (1-2) – 137.40
tbd (1-2) – 127.64

Why Jim won: Uhhh DJ Chark (15.60) and um Frank Gore (15.90) and Phillip Lindsay I guess (27.00)
Why Justin lost: Kenny G (2.70), Hock (0.60), Hollywood (5.90), Not playing Russ

First things first, Jim, what does your team name even say? I sat here for like 5 minutes trying to decode this gibberish and I literally can’t figure it out. I get the Baby Chark thing but beyond that I’m lost. Jim once again makes me realize that I really know nothing about fantasy football. Jim’s team full of riffraff somehow scraped together more than my team scored on a good week. I just don’t get it. Lindsay scored 2 TDs against a seemingly good GB defense. Chark might actually be a thing. Frank Gore…still chuggin.’ Whatever. Justin’s team put up monstrous numbers interspersed with hardcore choke-jobs. While once looking like the exception to the Rookie TEs = bad rule, Hock (literally) hasn’t rubbed 2 fantasy points together over the last 2 weeks. I’ll draft him in 2021. Dak obviously did perfectly fine but it is worth noting that benching Russ cost Justin the week. Would anyone in their right mind have passed up Dak (or anyone really) vs. Miami? Probably not. Justin’s Kamara-led squad is still looking strong and will be looking to even up his record next week against undefeated Rambo. (P.S. your team name still sucks, copy paste your Golladay team name from your league if you have to)

I Hardly Hit Her (3-0) – 151.26
141 2/3% Chance To Win (2-1) – 134.22

Why Rambo won: Quintorris Jones (22.80), Keenan Allen (37.10!), CMC (26.30)
Why Jeff lost: Nuk (9.70), Odell (8.60)

Does Rambo have the meanest team in the league right now? His team has proved through the first 3 weeks that it can hit hard as hell. Keenan Allen caught 70 balls in Week 3, Julio is STILL Julio, CMC still gets 900 touches per game. The only hope for the rest of the league is that Patrick continues to play Kirk Cousins. Jeff put up 134 and lost. You just gotta throw your hands up when that happens. If the blame could be placed anywhere, Jeff’s 1st and 2nd rd picks could’ve done more work. Are you worried at all if you’re Jeff? No, pretty obviously not. Highest points scored in the league thus far, averaging a gross 137 points per week.

That’s it good luck next week!

141 2/3% Chance to Win (2-0) – 117.42
Da Bad News Bears (1-1) – 80.60

Why Jeff Won: ODB(25.10), Ekeler(20.30),”Swole Tweeder” Joey Slye(10.00)
Why Tim Lost: Dede(0.80), Evans(8.10), Arob(6.10)

Not a hugely impressive matchup here, as both teams performed well under expectations, but Tim’s squad managed a whopping 43 points under projections after a very strong week 1. DJ somewhat saved his fantasy day with a touchdown that would have otherwise been 14 yards on 7 attempts. Despite the Bears last second win, they don’t look great – Trubisky has looked awful. Hopefully for Tim he rights the ship and doesn’t squander Arob’s talent the rest of the year. My team had its fair share of underwhelming performances as well but a few big games made the difference (as well as a pretty 89 yard OBJ TD).

Dalvin &the Chipmunks (0-2) – 119.32
HotChubbTimeMachine (2-0) – 124.36

Why Dave Won: The GOAT(24.66), Ridley(20.50), Chubb(17.80), Henry(16.30)
Why Eric Lost: OJ(0.00), Denver (1.00), Negative Attitude

A very close game that could have gone either way – If OJ gets a target, Von Miller/Bradley Chubb get to Trubisky, or if Dave plays Watson over Brady this game has a different outcome. Both teams had players put up huge games – 75 yard Dalvin TD, the emergence of Scary Terry, the continued dominance of Derrick Henry, Tom dismantling a high school football team. The loss for Eric could have devastating effects, as the 0-2 start has sent him spiraling into fantasy football depression. Maybe all that’s needed is a positive attitude! Hopefully he picks up some wins soon, as I don’t want to write anymore recaps.

Football Sage! (2-0) – 140.34
The Champ (0-2) – 133.32

Why Dad Won: Pats D(37.00), Godwin (22.10), Zeke (19.00)
Why Dags lost: Rivers(11.92), Jacobs(9.90)

Dad continues his invincibility streak, backed by the elite Pats D dismantling the Dolphins. Some last minute heroics from Wentz and Robby Anderson sealed what was a very close match. The Pats D is looking to be a steal – an elite defense with an incredibly easy schedule the first half of the season, and matches vs CIN and BUF in weeks 15 and 16 of the playoffs.

Dad’s TE woes continue after losing Hunter Henry, with his fill-in TE immediately getting injured.

#Rams TE Tyler Higbee left Sunday’s game with what was termed a chest injury and headed to the hospital as a precaution, sources say. It turned out to be an injury to his lung that caused him to cough up blood. While he may miss time, it won’t be much.

— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) September 16, 2019

Coughing up blood but won’t miss much time… ah, the NFL. Dags team had a very strong week with AB17, Ross, Barkley, and Andrews, but just wasn’t able to do enough.

Illegal use of hands (1-1) – 99.48
CBDGaveMeMagicPowers (1-1) – 112.42

Why Ryan Won: Mahomes(31.62), Vance(19.30), Cooks(15.10)
Why Brian Lost: Cook(3.50), Woods(5.20), Gordon(2.90)

Ryan’s team came through this week after his mini fire-sale in week 1. Both teams had huge days from their young QBs, who are looking like two of the best in the league. The loss of Big Ben must have Ryan sweating, as Conner and Vance are big contributors to his team. Mason Rudolph might heavily rely on his RB/TE combo though, so the injury could be a blessing in disguise. The offense will still need to score points though. The Steelers just traded a first for Minkah Fitzpatrick however, so it seems the Steelers management still believe in having a playoff caliber team. Brian’s team didn’t get much production elsewhere, with all of his receivers having down days. White and Gordon show why owning Patriots offensive players can be a blessing and a curse. Having Sanders 23.30 points on the bench must sting a little, but hindsight is 20/20 in fantasy.

Just Doulis. (0-2) – 100.36
tbd (1-1) – 107.10

Why Justin Won: Russ(24.20), Aaron Jones(23.00), Golladay(21.70)
Why George Lost: Mixon(4.20), Carson(8.20), Hooper(5.40)

Justin relied heavily on his big guns for the win, as Duke, Jeffrey, and Hock all did their best to throw away the win. In the end he didn’t need those positions anyway and squeaked out the win against George. Justin has a strong bench with Dak, DK, and Hollywood all having big days and emerging as likely starters. George can probably pin this loss on Joe Mixon, who has been underwhelming this season. George has emerging players on his bench as well in John Brown, Hyde, and Hardman, so time will tell how long of a leash Mixon will get before George looks to other options.

BabyCharkDaJHomeless (0-2) – 72.32
I Hardly Hit Her (2-0) 114.14

Why Patrick Won: Julio(25.10), Dalton(19.64), Cleveland D(13.60)
Why Jim Lost: Brees(0.52), DJax(0.00), McCoy(3.80), Bernard(1.80)

If there are points for style, Jim wins in huge fashion. Sadly (and maybe unfairly), jock strap stretches don’t accumulate points in fantasy. Jim had an unwinnable week with a thumb injury to Brees, DJax’s “Surprise! I’m not playing tonight”, and McCoy exiting early. If all had played, he might have been able to swing the margin of victory. Patrick easily took the week despite down performances from his big players in McCaffrey and Edelman. Edelman might be a concern if AB sticks around, but McCaffrey should bounce back quickly (although how will he fare with a backup QB or a hobbled Cam?) Jim may look to acquire help at QB to weather the 6 weeks Brees is expected to miss. Is there a league member with a young exciting QB to spare that could get a deal done here?

Good luck to everyone in week 3!